Chasing waterfalls
Joy ♥15 October 1992
NUS YLLSoM class of 2016
God, squirrels, puppies, singing, reading, travelling, long walks, stars
"It is raw and it is so damn real you want to run away just to soak it up and take it in. The soul mate. The one you feel vibrate when they are a thousand miles away. The one you hear whisper when they think about you. The one who lets you move freely but embraces your shadow from afar. That one. The one you feel like you have known for a million years."
- Unknown
"OH NOEZ! it is i, the answering machine!"
Sunday, July 06, 2008, 8:44 PM
Answering machines.
(With strong east Indian accent) "Hello, you have reached the existential hotline of Ransheesh. I am currently meditating, but if you leave your name and which lifeline you are currently inhabiting at the sound of the Om, I will send good karma waves and contact you when the stars align properly."
"Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange... mother...unicorn...computer. I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible."
"The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten. (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty. The choice is YOURS!"
(Narrator's voice) "There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly, the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message."
"Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges."
"Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now. However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."
"Hi, I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anyone. Can we talk after the beep?"
"Hi. I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing."
"Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear. We'll get back to you if we liked that colour."
--
-hysterical laughter- I love bored.com. I was practically rolling on the floor! -more hysterical laughter-
omg this is so retarded. hahahaha. but it does make me happy.
12 more days!
--
TAAAAGS
laiweng: it is?! it said 800 on the parent's letter. ahhh anyways yay I love nyco :D
beef: yeah man, fukitol! haha. and yes I wonder how they managed to make the whole "who is the failure" thing work! wheee alright I'll go read it soon (: coughcough.
quin: eeek! it's right next to the canteen! ): hahaha but nvm I didn't see your stall either ._. haha we sold out all our baked cheese rice, people loved it! you should've come!(:
(With strong east Indian accent) "Hello, you have reached the existential hotline of Ransheesh. I am currently meditating, but if you leave your name and which lifeline you are currently inhabiting at the sound of the Om, I will send good karma waves and contact you when the stars align properly."
"Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange... mother...unicorn...computer. I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible."
"The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten. (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty. The choice is YOURS!"
(Narrator's voice) "There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly, the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message."
"Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges."
"Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now. However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."
"Hi, I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anyone. Can we talk after the beep?"
"Hi. I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing."
"Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear. We'll get back to you if we liked that colour."
--
-hysterical laughter- I love bored.com. I was practically rolling on the floor! -more hysterical laughter-
omg this is so retarded. hahahaha. but it does make me happy.
12 more days!
--
TAAAAGS
laiweng: it is?! it said 800 on the parent's letter. ahhh anyways yay I love nyco :D
beef: yeah man, fukitol! haha. and yes I wonder how they managed to make the whole "who is the failure" thing work! wheee alright I'll go read it soon (: coughcough.
quin: eeek! it's right next to the canteen! ): hahaha but nvm I didn't see your stall either ._. haha we sold out all our baked cheese rice, people loved it! you should've come!(:
Labels: funny crap