My grades are dropping.
I'm sorry, mom and dad.
I promise I'll try my best to do everything I need to do from term 2 to term 4.
But right now, dad's always busy. He's hardly home. Mom's always busy with chores as well.
We never manage to sit down quietly and discuss about homework for once.
But I cannot rely on you guys to excel in my studies.
So I've been trying.
I've been trying to juggle both my life and my studies.
And I failed.
I thought those Bio notes appear pretty understandable to me.
But no, they're a total stranger.
I detest physics, and I never wanted to concentrate in class.
Maybe that's my problem.
My mind'll always drift off to somewhere else.
Some things in life tend to get me distracted easily.
I've got no choice.
I love chemistry, and I think I've done my best.
Lang Arts, so far I don't find any faults with it.
But Maths? All the concepts I understood.
I've even practiced like mad for the MOE Exam for returning singaporeans.
But why do I see so many crosses?
Where did the ticks go?
Had they been lost on the way from Taipei to Singapore?
I hope not.
Chinese. I'm not bad at it, but I'm not good either.
Sure, you'd point out the scores I got in my essays.
But what are they?
They're just fake labels.
All the essays we wrote this year, I've written similar ones for each and every one of them.
And therefore I can briefly remember what I wrote previously.
So you can say that it's not really my real 'talent'.
Integrated Humanities.
Stop pushing me here.
I do not understand a single thing.
Well maybe I understand a few, but most of them are just weird alien language to me.
My brain isn't designed to work that way.
I don't have an analytical brain.
Have you ever wondered why so many people said that I'm naive?
Have you ever wondered what goes on in my brain?
Have you ever wondered if this subject is even suitable for my brain to handle?
Really, I can't take it.
I can't have the teacher stepping in everyday complaining about how dead we are.
What do we have to say, really?
We don't get it, and we never will.
The IH concepts are weird to all of us.
We don't know what to say.
We don't want you to feel like as if you're talking to rock statues,
We try,
But the fact is .. we're just not cut out for IH.
Maybe only I'm not. And the whole problem lies with me.
They say you'll reach a point in life when you finally get enlightened and start being really diligent.
I've been thinking lately.
Will that day ever come for me?
Someone as playful, as crazy, as talentless as me?
I'd be lying if I told you I'd never taken my studies seriously.
I have, and I know what it feels like.
But those moments are only for short periods of time.
The fact is,
I can never maintain long term diligence.
I'm born playful.
I'm born to hate homework.
I'm born to feel stressed easily.
That's me.
If you're thinking that
"Oh no, then this girl's future is doomed."
Then I will prove you wrong.
I'm playful,
I'm crazy,
I sometimes find myself hating all my subjects,
But yes,
I can study.
All singaporeans are born to be able to study.
That's our tradition.
So why can't I?
I've been wondering about my career in future.
What can I do?
Forget about becoming a superstar,
Forget about becoming an actress,
Forget about showbiz career,
Drop all your stupid dreams.
I have 3 roads I can choose to go on.
One is glamorous, one is devastating, and the other is more practical.
I could be a radio station person, so everyone can listen to me speaking cheerfully everyday.
I could go hawker centres to sell chicken rice. Dress like aunties and wear fake jade bangles.
Or I could become a doctor. Wearing a white robe, saving lives, having a wise look at all times.
I intend to be practical.
I shall become a doctor.
I've always hated medicines.
But lately, I'm starting to hate them less.
Maybe I'll be enlightened soon.
I know I'm not cut out for any other jobs.
I don't have any talents.
If you say piano,
Then it'll be stupid.
I've given up on piano for 3 years,
But I'm finally going to pick it up again.
But it'll be different.
You can't rely on one unstable talent to support your family.
But to become a doctor,
Excelling in Biology is crucial.
Chemistry too.
Maybe a little physics.
It actually explains all the reasons for me to take triple science.
But I'm only doing well in Chemistry.
I need to pull up my socks on Bio.
The other 2 topics I have absolutely no interest in.
I can only try my best,
and do what I can do.

Sorry mom and dad,
please do not be disappointed in me.
I'm your daughter,
Trust in me.
If you guys can be so successful,
so can I.

I'll work harder. I'll work towards becoming a doctor.
I'll earn lots of money to repay your kindness to me.
I'll hire 4 maids to pamper you.
To me, in my life, right now,
You guys are the priority.
Homework is secondary.

So I'm telling you guys,
Mom, Dad,
JOY WILL BE ENLIGHTENED (: