I’ll be officially entering the SG workforce and starting my new job as a House Officer tomorrow! :) This is a brand new beginning and the greatest transition in my life thus far; from a medical student to a member of the healthcare team, from a sheltered child to a financially independent individual, and another provider for the family.

Father, You're a generous and wonderful and loving God, praise Your name for blessing me all my life and for carrying me this far :) :) :) I'm so, so grateful. Thinking back on all the trying times and tough days and countless sleepless nights when I felt like I wouldn't make it, I'm filled with so much gratitude and disbelief. I still can't believe I've graduated from my dream course. Thank You for putting me here in Medicine! Along with the wonderful career prospects and job stability that it offers. This is definitely not something every fresh grad gets to enjoy; many struggle with finding employment and go through multiple interviews only to be faced with repeated rejections and closed doors… yet here I am, not having to worry about any of these. Lord, thank You so much for Your providence and love :)

As I embark on this new journey Lord, I pray for You to continue to be with me every step of the way as I settle in and adjust to this new life and new job, as You've always been :) Honestly all this is so extremely daunting and scary… I really don’t know if I’ve got what it takes to handle my new duties. I still do feel so unprepared, incompetent and inefficient. I’m scared of everything there is to come - what if I make fatal mistakes? What if I'm careless? What if I’m not good enough to be a House Officer? What if I’m not a good doctor? What if I’m not cut out for this job? What if I let the people I love down? Sigh. I'm filled with so much fear and anxiety that I can't even begin to explain, but I know these negative thoughts and feelings are not from You. I know that there’s a reason You put me here today, and that You see so much more potential in me than I can ever see in myself… so please help me shut out these feelings of doubt and believe in myself, help me fill my heart with positivity and faith instead.

Lord I pray for You to continually fill my heart with joy as take on this new position that You’ve gifted me with. I pray that You’ll prepare me in every possible way for everything that lies ahead, that You'll give me all the things and qualities I need to master and perform well in this incredible job that You’ve led me to and called upon me to do. 

I pray for wisdom, vigilance, strength and courage to take on the many challenges to come. Help me to never forget that You love us so, so much that You sent Your one and only son to die for our sins, and to always trust that all the challenges You've placed in my journey are meant to strengthen and not break me. I pray that I’ll only grow stronger and wiser after every mistake and obstacle, and that I’ll never lose sight of the big picture or forget why I’m here.

I pray for empathy, patience, understanding and insight in dealing with patients, colleagues, and any kind of friendships/relationships both inside and outside of work, no matter how tough or tricky they are to interact and work with. I pray that I will always look to You and find peace and joy before, during and after long hours of work or slumberless night calls. All these new responsibilities are overwhelming to say the least, but I pray that I will be able to live up to the expectations placed upon me, that I will be able to cope with them both physically and emotionally, and that I'll continue to put all of my faith and trust in You without hesitation even when the going gets tough, even when I feel like I'm being pushed to my limits and on the verge of breaking down.

I pray for wisdom in time management, not only so that I’ll be efficient at work, but that I'll always continue to find ways and time to draw near to You and strengthen my ties with my loved ones and friends as well, even when I’m extremely busy and swamped with work. I pray that I’ll never forget that You’re the one who brought me here today, and they the ones who supported me tirelessly through the past few years :)

Everything about work and my life beyond this point is stressful and uncertain, but You’re our faithful, unchanging and all powerful God! Thank You once again for giving me this wonderful opportunity to be a part of this noble profession :) I pray that You will continue to use me as an instrument to fulfil Your purposes, to teach me and guide me to do my work and handle these new duties in a way that honours you. I pray that I’ll bring glory to You in everything I do, and bring hope and joy to all the patients under my care :) I pray the same for Jeriel and all my friends and colleagues who will also be embarking on this same new journey tomorrow. I pray for You to be with them in every way as well, to grant them peace and confidence in their hearts and a restful sleep tonight :)

In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.


P.S. In exactly 10 days it'll be 6 full years since I first got accepted into med school... too, too, too much feels :')

P.P.S. (Alright this entry is about to make a spastic turn) Didn't realize that it was this blog's 10th anniversary 2 months ago in March!!! Omg that's 10 years aka one full decade of blogging LOL okay everyone I've officially attained veteran blogger status #levelup #xiaxuelevel


Gay hearts for you because you've been a very rubbishy and gay blog since my younger days of folly heehee when I blogged about so many retarded and embarrassing things (AND in the kind of mortifying teenage twit English that makes me want to throw myself off a cliff or shove my head into a brick wall now). I've dabbled in my fair share of other blogging platforms over these 10 years from xanga to livejournal to wordpress to tumblr and even windows live spaces when it still existed LOL, but most of them got ruthlessly eliminated when I grew tired of them after 1-2 years. YOU, however, are special and somehow managed to stick by me and this cringeworthy url (I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my bladder on behalf of my dorky 13 year old/preteen self) ( ... can't believe I'm a doctor now HAHA #mindblowing #whowouldhaveknown) for TEN YEARS and counting, and served me very well. I'm prouda you :') *patpat* Here's to many more years of adventures together, little blog!

#onedecadeofblogging #onedecadeworthofjoyrubbishspewed #thankyouinternet #thankyouforlovingme #timetoretire #justkidding #willblogiftimepermits #teehee #okaytoomanyhashtags