Chasing waterfalls
Joy ♥15 October 1992
NUS YLLSoM class of 2016
God, squirrels, puppies, singing, reading, travelling, long walks, stars
"It is raw and it is so damn real you want to run away just to soak it up and take it in. The soul mate. The one you feel vibrate when they are a thousand miles away. The one you hear whisper when they think about you. The one who lets you move freely but embraces your shadow from afar. That one. The one you feel like you have known for a million years."
- Unknown
Twenty-one
Saturday, February 06, 2016, 2:08 PM
Last day of med school yesterday. Felt kinda surreal, kinda bittersweet. I don't have time for a proper reflection (I'll save it for my graduation day. Hopefully hopefully hopefully I do graduate), but just wanted to say... wow, this is crazy. It's crazy to reach the end of my med school journey. The past 5 years felt like my whole life. I still remember the day I sat for my med school interview at NUHS tower block, the day I met my OG for the first time, and the day I stepped into LT28 for my first lecture. I can't believe I was only 18 then. These memories are vivid, but they do feel like ages ago. Those were the days when I felt like there was still an incredibly long way to go with no end in sight; graduating from med school and becoming a doctor was unthinkable when we just started out on this journey. But look - the finish line is right there now, staring back at us. It feels so, so crazy.
I was just telling J yesterday about how we were all struggling to get into med school back then, struggling to get through it every single year, and here we are struggling to get out of it now. 5 years ago I was a vastly different person from the one I am today; a lot more naive, a lot less mature, a lot less strong, a lot less experienced in terms of... everything, but a lot more carefree and a lot more jovial. I can't imagine what I'd say to my younger self if I met her somewhere now. Boy was she in for a lot of changes. A lot of curved balls. A lot of trials. But well, all these to help her grow up and become a stronger girl. I'm definitely a lot stronger than before, but... I know I'm still not the strongest I'm meant to be. I'm still crumbling under this stress and breaking down more often than I'd like to, but I know that's because God still has plans to strengthen me further. And every trial brings me one step closer to where He wants me to be.
The toughest hurdle (tougher than all the hurdles over the past 5 years combined) to cross is yet to come and I feel like I've already been stretched to my limit, time is slipping away, and I'm losing grip of whatever thin thread I was holding onto. 21 days to MBBS... I cannot lose faith now. Whoever reads this, please give me a giant knock on my head and physically shake me if you see me crumbling into pieces again, because I just... don't trust myself.
Dear God, please see me through this and give me the strength to handle everything that's coming my way, because I really cannot do this without you.
I was just telling J yesterday about how we were all struggling to get into med school back then, struggling to get through it every single year, and here we are struggling to get out of it now. 5 years ago I was a vastly different person from the one I am today; a lot more naive, a lot less mature, a lot less strong, a lot less experienced in terms of... everything, but a lot more carefree and a lot more jovial. I can't imagine what I'd say to my younger self if I met her somewhere now. Boy was she in for a lot of changes. A lot of curved balls. A lot of trials. But well, all these to help her grow up and become a stronger girl. I'm definitely a lot stronger than before, but... I know I'm still not the strongest I'm meant to be. I'm still crumbling under this stress and breaking down more often than I'd like to, but I know that's because God still has plans to strengthen me further. And every trial brings me one step closer to where He wants me to be.
The toughest hurdle (tougher than all the hurdles over the past 5 years combined) to cross is yet to come and I feel like I've already been stretched to my limit, time is slipping away, and I'm losing grip of whatever thin thread I was holding onto. 21 days to MBBS... I cannot lose faith now. Whoever reads this, please give me a giant knock on my head and physically shake me if you see me crumbling into pieces again, because I just... don't trust myself.
Dear God, please see me through this and give me the strength to handle everything that's coming my way, because I really cannot do this without you.