Chasing waterfalls
Joy ♥15 October 1992
NUS YLLSoM class of 2016
God, squirrels, puppies, singing, reading, travelling, long walks, stars
"It is raw and it is so damn real you want to run away just to soak it up and take it in. The soul mate. The one you feel vibrate when they are a thousand miles away. The one you hear whisper when they think about you. The one who lets you move freely but embraces your shadow from afar. That one. The one you feel like you have known for a million years."
- Unknown
We were victims of the night
Sunday, June 14, 2015, 10:44 PM
Happy song to buffer this great great great sense of dread :( Perhaps 1% of what I'm feeling is excitement, in a weird funny way, but... yup, the other 99% is dread. Pure d-r-e-a-d. Can't believe M5 starts tomorrow. How did all these years of medical school slip away so silently?
Met up with yiyan for dinner today with weish, ting and vidhya. It's refreshing to see someone so completely relaxed without a single hint of anxiety or worry... were we like this at the end of M3 too? How I wish I could go back to those carefree days. And gosh, M4 was such a wonderful year. It had plenty of its own stresses definitely, but on hindsight it was truly a much shorter and pretty honeymoon-ish year compared to M3 and the upcoming M5 year. Feeling strange, slightly awkward and almost undeserving that we're now the most senior medical students around :/ I just hope I live up to expectations... eventually
I'm a huge ugly blob of anxiety, worry, and fear all mashed together tonight :( Let's hope our first day tomorrow won't be too hardcore/intense... gonna be a long day of work at KK, and then briefing back in NUS. Groans :( But sigh, I know this one year is going to make all the difference. It will see my transformation from a noob medical student into a confident and competent physician, so yes underneath all that trepidation, I guess I am eager and excited, to learn and grow. Just that right now the fear and dread is just... overflowing ttm
ARGHHHH *PULLS SELF TOGETHER*
Thank you Lord, for walking with me through all the ups and downs in medical school over the past 4 years. Please keep me grounded and motivated, help me grow and strengthen me for Your purpose as I embark on this final year, and for all the years beyond. So that I may never lose sight of what brought me into the world of medicine, no matter how tough the going gets. So that I will always strive to do my best in medical school and in the many years of medical career to come, to dedicate my heart to serving the sick, the disabled, the physically weak and the ones in pain, and to always remember that this is what I've been called to do, for Your purpose and Your glory :)
I am weak, but He is strong :)
M5 HERE I COME