I need to always, always, always remember this ^

As MBBS draws near, somehow I find myself having a lot less faith in myself and in God and in everything :( For the past few days I really didn't feel like I had any energy to even say a short prayer to reach out to God for help. I always say that I feel far away from God on days like these... but what never crossed my mind is what they always say - "if God feels faraway and distant, who moved?"

J reminded me yesterday that God still loves us so dearly and unconditionally even though we've been foolishly trying to rely on ourselves lately and stopped seeking Him as much. And for the first time in awhile, I felt a pang of... something, like a surge of emotions. All I could imagine was the scene of a loving father standing in the pouring rain with an umbrella, watching with sad eyes as his daughter runs away from him trying to brave the rain on her own.
The struggle to keep my eyes on God and not let anything come between is extremely real. It's really, really tough especially when everything in life is coming at me and spiralling out of control. Especially when I feel like time is falling away in huge chunks yet I'm nowhere close to achieving my goals, seeing that there are only about ?63 days to the most important exam of my life thus far... But Lord, help me to always remember and tell myself this - I am Your child. The child of a King who has overcome the world, who holds me dearly in the mighty palms of His hands, and loves me ceaselessly even though I'm heavily flawed... He is faithful even when I'm not, He is patient and waits for me even when I turn away from Him :( Help me to never forget that although I am human and am allowed to be weak, I've got nothing to fear because Your power is made perfect in my weakness, and You go before me and are always with me in everything I do. I pray for my heart to be filled again, so that it can sing with hope and pride once more that I have a God who's bigger than all my problems, worries and fears. I pray for Your guidance as J and I continue to fight this uphill battle as MBBS approaches. I pray for You to make our studying fruitful and productive. I pray that we will always celebrate Your goodness and bring glory to You in everything we do. I pray we never forget how blessed, protected and loved we are, and all the mountains You moved for us.

To give thanks and trust in God in all circumstances, through every fear, every worry, every discouragement and every failure, and to continually let Him be my strength and my sustenance - something I'm still struggling with and working on everyday. But thank you for the timely reminder dear, I really needed it :)

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Labels: God, jeriel, love, mbbs, SIGH